Advent Waiting

A number of years ago, I wrote a poem about the season of Advent. At the time, my husband and I were going through difficult times; in fact, I had been living with a friend for a couple of months while we were going through marriage counseling. As part of that counseling, we had agreed to spend Advent in prayer together, studying the scriptures and talking about our relationship.

Even though we weren't living together, we made a covenant to meet each evening. In preparation for this great undertaking, I wrote the following poem:

                                     Slowly, I take my first tentative steps
                                         on my journey through Advent,
                                         my hopes and fears adding their colors
                                         to the red and green of the Christmas season.
                                    With the breathless anticipation of a child
                                         I watch Advent unfold,
                                         each day presenting me with
                                         challenges and opportunities
                                         like treasures hidden behind
                                         the doors of childhood's Advent calendars.
                                    What will I find in your heart tonight?

We met with such hope that, in the mystery and wonder of Christmas trees and candles, we would again find the magic of love that had brought us together. It was a great deal of pressure to put on one another during an already stressful season.

As a pastor, I see this scene played out over and over again during the holidays. Families that are busy with separate activities during all of the rest of the year, come together over a Thanksgiving turkey or a Christmas tree. Everyone brings high hopes that, this year, conflict and hurt feelings will magically melt away and be healed. Sometimes that happens...but most often the brokenness remains.

John the Baptist knew the brokenness of people. He went out into the wilderness and called people to come away--away from the busyness of their lives, away from family and friends--and come to the water to be washed clean. "Repent!" he cried, inviting them to turn around...to turn back to God and away from the things that had led them away from the love of God.

The Hebrew people repeated daily, several times a day, "Hear, O Israel: the Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord they God with all your heart, and with all your soul and with all your might." (Deut. 6:4-5). The "Shema," as this was called was to be written on the forehead, the hand, and the door posts of their homes so that they would never forget it; it was designed to keep God always before them. And yet, being human beings (often described as "sheep") they tended to wander off. John the Baptist reminded them to return to holding God always in their sight.

That's a lot of what my Advent poem did for me...for us. It was a reminder to re-focus on the love that had brought us together. That year, our wilderness wanderings in Advent led me back home, just days before Christmas. The tentativeness of the poem was matched by our equally tentative journey toward God and one another. That Christmas was quiet and profound, rich with new meaning for us both.

As we begin Advent this year, I find that I am hearing John the Baptist's voice loud and clear: "Turn around!" he cries. "Turn from the busyness and the chaos and focus on God." I brought out my poem again and "Slowly, I take my first tentative steps...on my journey through Advent." I wonder what God will find in my heart tonight?

Blessings for your Advent turnings and wanderings!